


Goodbye

by luhaniluna



Series: Thank you ♡ [5]
Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, Idols, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 06:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21249131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luhaniluna/pseuds/luhaniluna
Summary: they both knew





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Characterization might be off and I'm really sorry for that. This is only the second time I'm venturing out of ChengStin so please do accept my apologies.
> 
> ⚠️ English is not my native language. Deep apologies for inaccuracies, extreme use of tenses, grammatical & spelling errors. ⚠️

Two boys are sitting on a bench with enough space for another person to sit between them. A quiet yet awkward silence enveloping them until Zhangjing softly utters. “I loved you,y’know?”

Yanjun looks ahead of them, staring at a big tree slowly swaying. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah.” a pause “Back in our first year, I swear to God… I loved you. I would’ve pursued you if it weren’t for_them_.” silence once again enveloped the two. Zhangjing stares at Yanjun, face showing no emotion, yet his eyes are glassy. 

“I loved you for two years. When we graduated… I thought about waiting for you.” that statement made Zhangjing glance at him. “Did… you?” Yanjun picks up a stray leaf. “_I did_. For a year.” he muttered with a sigh. 

“But we’re both still out there so I thought I wouldn’t have a chance anymore.” Zhangjing stares at his hands playing with the leaf. “But I eventually stopped…” Yanjun lets go of the leaf, letting it be taken away by the wind.

“Yeah, you did but…” Zhangjing looks ahead once again. “You couldn’t stop then, right?” 

“…yeah.” it was barely above a whisper; Zhangjing hummed quietly. “We could’ve been something… I don’t know if you knew but our friends? They were rooting for us.” 

A sad sigh escapes the Yanjun’s lips. “I know…” another pause. Yanjun wanted to ask something, but he wasn’t sure if he’s ready for the answer._He still did, though._ “Did you… did you ever felt something?” 

“Towards you?” 

“Yeah?” 

The gush of the wind envelops them for a moment until Zhangjing whispers but enough for Yanjun to hear. “I always have. Not sure when but I think even before_you_felt something.” 

Yanjun was taken aback by his answer. “Re-really?” another sigh escapes the Zhangjing’s lips, this time an exasperated one. “Yeah.” 

“But it went away because of them,_right?_” silence envelops the two_again_. Zhangjing heaved a breath before answering, “Honestly? It_didn’t_. If I think about it now… it only_grew_.” 

Yanjun was speechless. “…itdid?” Zhangjing shuffles his feet, playing with a rock. “Yeah…” 

“Un-until now?” 

“That… I don’t know… maybe?” 

“What we have… what we_could’ve had_…it’s… I guess it’s what people call right person, wrong timing.” Yanjun started off quietly. “And it sucks. Finding the right person but time fucks you up.” 

“Maybe… we’re not just meant to be together,y’know?” that made Yanjun look Zhangjing confused. “Huh?” 

“Maybe… we’re just meant to be best friends. Nothing more, nothing less.” Zhangjing stared back longingly. “And it makes my heart ache just by thinking about it.” 

A second pass then without thinking twice, Yanjun envelops Zhangjing in a tight hug. “I’m sorry.” Zhangjing tightened the hug. “What are you even sorry for?” 

“Sorry Ididn’t fightfor you… sorry I got tired of waiting… sorry for hurting you. Just… sorry for everything.” Yanjun closed his eyes, trying his best not to cry as Zhangjing pats his head. 

“You don’t have to say sorry. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault at all.” Zhangjing caresses the soft black hair. “It’s just fate that didn’t want us to be more than what we already have.” 

No one spoke after that but the hug lingered until Zhangjing pulled away. “So, I guess it’s time.” Yanjun looks at him confused. “Time for what?” Zhangjing avoided his eyes. “Time to say goodbye.” 

“Go-good… bye?” Zhangjing went back to staring ahead; the sun slowly setting. It would’ve been a great view if it weren’t for the situation they’re in. “Yeah. I’ll leave tomorrow.” 

Yanjun clasped his hands tightly, making Zhangjing look at him. “Where are you going?” 

“Somewhere far, I guess.” 

“Bu-but… why?” Zhangjing once again avoided his eyes and turns to watch the sunset. “I need time. Time to move on… time to heal… time for myself.” 

“Bu-but!” Yanjunhurryinglystuttered. “You’ll be good. You have them, remember?” Zhangjing softly smiles at him. That made Yanjun look at their hands. “Ye-yeah… but…” 

“No buts. You have them and that’s all that matters.” despite the stern response Yanjun still argues. “But you matter as well!” that made Zhangjing frown but Yanjun adds, “You mean everything to me,_Jing_.” 

Said person pulled his hand from the tight grip. “But they are your priority now and everything is already settled.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Just…” Zhangjing heaved asigh. “Just be good, okay?” then he stood up. Hismovemade Yanjunpanic. “I’ll…” then he stood up as well. “I’ll come with you!” Zhangjingturned to glare at him. “No!” 

Yanjun’s tears threaten to fall. “Yo-you do-don’t want me to come?” Zhangjing brushed his hair with his hands in frustration. “God knows how much I want to be with you, Yanjun_!_But we can’t! And_you_know that!” 

“I-I…” Zhangjing sighs again. He let a minute pass before turning around. “I have to go.” before he can take a step, a hand firmly grasps his sweater. “Wa-wait…” 

“It’s late and I’m tired, Yanjun. It’sgonnabe a long day for me tomorrow and I need to rest.” Zhangjingsighs heavily. “One last hug?” as soon as he nodded, he felt himself being embraced by the arms of the person he loves so much. 

It’s the familiar arms that would always warm him up in the cold days; the arms that’s always hanging from his shoulders, protecting him from any harm. It was the arms of the person he tried hard not to love yet here he is stillfallingdeeper. 

Zhangjingwas the one who tried to pull away, but the younger tightened the hug. “Yanjun…” 

“Just a few more…_please_.” he begs like a young boy pleading to have more playing time. Zhangjing couldn’t help but sigh and murmurs okay. Minutes passed and they both slowly pulled away but Yanjun softly pressed their foreheads together. 

They both closed their eyes as Yanjun softly whispers. “_I love you_.” the moon has already replaced the sun when Zhangjing replies. “_I love you_.” it was barely audible but Yanjun heard it clearly. 

“I’ll miss you. So much.” Zhangjing whispers. Yanjun held his hands. “I’ll miss you._Till it hurts_.” they completely pulled away as they stare at each other’s eyes. Yanjuncaresses Zhangjing’s face, making him leantohis touch.

“Take care of yourself, alright?” Zhangjingheld the hand on his face. “You too. Behave, okay?” Yanjunnodded. “No goodbyes. Just see you later.” Zhangjingsmiled. “See you later.” then they slowly let go. 

Zhangjingturns around while Yanjun stood there. He watches as he walks away from him,_from his life_. 

Tears flowed out uncontrollably for both sides. 

Regrets and unspoken words drowning them. 

And then suddenly, they couldn’t breathe. 

Because both of them knew… it’s _goodbye_.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've reached until here then I am deeply grateful to you! Thank you for giving this one a chance ♡
> 
> Kudos and comments (+criticisms) are very much appreciated (◠‿◠✿)
> 
> ⚠️ Edited and re-edited all by myself. Please kindly excuse all errors and inaccuracies. ⚠️


End file.
